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Jenny

Urgh - stupid different-sized fonts. Grumble! Apologies, all

SarahD

That is VERY interesting. I'm a very committed, God-believing Catholic, but I actually had a similar experience to the one you had when you were 14. In my case, I was 23 at the time, and one day it just hit me like a ton of bricks that I didn't really believe God existed, that the Eucharist was really Jesus, etc. This was alarming, because I'd always drawn much comfort and strength from my faith. For three days I felt like this (I went to Mass, but couldn't receive Communion because I couldn't believe). It felt like someone had hit the lightswitch on my faith. I hated every minute of it, I was absolutely miserable. I prayed, even though I didn't know what I was praying for or who I was praying to. On about the third or fourth day, the lights started to come back on, though not as dramatically as when they went off, and I believed in God again. Since then I have been a) much more forgiving of people who say they can't believe in God, because it happened to me! and b) very aware that faith is a gift, and not something that springs primarily from me and the thought processes of my mind. I'm sure that my desire to have faith again facilitated my being given it back (I've been a very happy and relieved Catholic since then) so if you ever find that you wish you had your faith back, you might just get it back. :-) Thanks for sharing!

Jenny

Sarah - that's really interesting - I particularly like your point (b).

Part of me struggles against the idea of ever having faith again (like, it would be a weakness, or a deathbed cop-out, or something). But a bigger part of me, throws my hards up and says 'If it happens, it happens. Bring it on. Or don't.' As you say, it won't be a decision I come to through the thought processes of my mind. It'll just 'get me', and I'm fine with that.

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